老实人
(2)
Candide opened his eyes, and again repeated: “Dead! Is Cunégonde dead? Ah, where is the best of worlds now? But of what illness did she die? Was it of grief on seeing her father kick me out of his magnificent castle?”
“No,” replied Pangloss, “her body was ripped open by the Bulgarian soldiers, after they had raped her as many times as a girl could survive; they knocked out the brains of the Baron, her father, for attempting to defend her; My Lady, her mother, was cut in pieces; my poor pupil was served just in the same manner as his sister; and as for the castle, they have not left one stone upon another; they have destroyed all the ducks, and sheep, the barns, and the trees; but we have had our satisfaction, for the Abares have done the very same thing in a neighboring barony, which belonged to a Bulgarian lord.”
At hearing this, Candide fainted away a second time, but, not withstanding, having come to himself again, he said all that it became him to say; he inquired into the cause and effect, as well as into the sufficient reason that he had reduced Pangloss to so miserable a condition.
“Alas,” replied the tutor, “it was love; love, the comfort of the human species; the love, the preserver of the universe; the soul of all sensible beings; love! Tender love!”
“Alas,” cried Candide, “I have had some knowledge of love myself, this sovereign of hearts, this soul of souls. It never caused any more effect on me than one kiss and twenty kicks on the backside. How could this beautiful causes produce in you so hideous an effect?”
Pangloss made answer in these terms:
“O my dear Candide, you must remember Daisy, that pretty wench, who waited on our noble Baroness; in her arms I tasted the pleasures of Paradise, which produced these hellish torments with which you see me devoured. She was infected with an ailment, and perhaps has since died of it; she received this present of a learned Franciscan, who troubled to derive its source and learned that he was indebted for it to an old countess, who had it of a captain of horse, who had it of a marquise, who had it of a page, the page had it of a Jesuit, who, during his novitiate, had it in a direct line from one of the fellow adventures of Christopher Columbus; for my part I shall give it to nobody, I am a dying man.”
“O sage Pangloss,” cried Candide, “what a strange genealogy is this! Is not it the devil the root of it?”
“Not at all,” replied the great man, “it was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus, on an island in America, had not caught this disease, which contaminates the source of generation, frequently impedes propagation itself, and is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we should have had neither chocolate nor cochineal dyes. We may observe that even to the present time, in this continent of ours, this malady, like our religious controversies, is peculiar to ourselves, and that the Turks, the Indians, the Persians, the Chinese, the Siamese, and the Japanese are entirely unacquainted with it; but there is a sufficient reason for them to know it in a few centuries. In the meantime, it is making prodigious havoc among us, especially in those armies composed of well disciplined hirelings who determine the fate of nations; for we may safely affirm, that, when an army of thirty thousand men engages another equal in size, there are about twenty thousand infected with syphilis on each side.”
“Very surprising, indeed,” said Candide, “but you must get cured.”
“Lord help me, how can I?” said pangloss. “My dear friend, I have not a penny in the world; and you cannot be bled or get an enema without money.”
This last speech had its effect on Candide; he flung himself at his feet, and gave him so striking a picture of his friend that the good man without any further hesitation agreed to take Dr.Pangloss into his house, and to pay for his cure. The cure was effected with only the loss of one eye and one ear, As Pangloss wrote a good hand and understand accounts tolerably well, the Anabaptist made him his bookkeeper. The expiration of two months, being obliged by some mercantile affairs to go to Lisbon he took the two philosophers with him in the same ship; Pangloss, during the course of the voyage, explained to him how everything was so constituted that it could be better. Jacques did not quite agree with him on this point.
“In some things,” he said, “men must have deviated from their original innocence; for they were not born wolves and yet they worry one another like beasts of prey. God never gave them twenty-four pounders nor bayonets and yet they have made both to destroy one another. To this account I might add not only bankrupts but also the law, which seizes on the effects of bankrupts to cheat the creditors.”
“All this was indispensably necessary,” replied the one-eye doctor, “for private misfortunes make for public benefits; so that the more private misfortunes there are, the greater is the general good.”
While he was arguing in this manner, the sky was overcast, the winds blew from the four quarters of the compass, and the ship was assailed by a most terrible tempest, within sight of the port of Lisbon.
第四章 老实人再次遇到庞格罗斯先生及其遭遇
第二天，当他外出散步时， 老实人遇上一个乞丐。那乞丐浑身长满疮疤，两眼深陷，鼻子烂了一截，嘴巴歪到一边，牙齿黑得像黑斗篷。他剧烈地咳嗽着，每一阵抽搐，都似乎要把牙齿咳出来。
老实人对他既同情又恐惧，但还是同情占了上风，于是就把那个诚实的再洗礼派教徒给他的两个金币赠给这个颤抖的人。这个幽灵般的乞丐热切地看着他，流着眼泪，伸出双臂抱住了老实人的脖子，吓得老实人倒退了好几步。
“天啊！”这个可怜人对着另一个可怜人说道，“难道那不记得你亲爱的庞格罗斯先生？”
“什么，亲爱的老师，是你吗？您怎么会落到如可怜的境地？在你身上发生了什么可怕的不幸？您为什么要离开那最美丽而舒适的城堡？古内宫小姐怎么样了？她是年轻小姐们的明镜，大自然的杰作。”
“我快死了，”庞格罗斯说道。听到这儿，老实人立即带庞格罗斯先生到再洗礼派教徒雅克家的马棚，设法给他找些吃的。庞格罗斯先生刚吃几口，老实人就接着打听古内宫小姐的情况。
“死了。”庞格罗斯先生回答道。
“死了！”老实人大叫一声，立刻昏死过去。庞格罗斯先生用他碰巧在马棚发现的一小瓶已经坏掉的醋把老实人救醒。
老实人睁开双眼又重复着说：“死了！古内宫小姐死了？啊！最完美的世界如今在哪儿呢？她生了什么病？是因为看到他父亲把我踢出城堡而悲伤地死去的吗？”
“不是，”庞格罗斯先生说，“她被保加利亚士兵多次蹂躏，被折磨得不成人样，还被剖开肚皮。她父亲男爵大人想保护她，脑袋被敲开了花。她母亲男爵夫人也被剁成了碎块，没有两块石头是摞在一起的了。所有的鸭、羊、谷仓和树全被毁了。但我们总算报了仇，因为阿巴利亚士兵在邻近属于保加利亚的一所男爵城堡里也干了同样的事。”
听到这里，老实人又昏倒了，但当他再次恢复知觉后，他就追问是什么样充分的因与果让庞格罗斯先生落到如此悲惨的境况。
“唉！”庞格罗斯先生说，“是爱情；爱情，慰藉人类的爱情！爱情，宇宙的保护者；所有理性之物的灵魂；爱情！温柔的爱情！”
“唉！”老实人道，“对爱情我略之一二，爱情是心灵的主宰，灵魂中的灵魂。它带给我的只是一次亲吻，和一阵落在我屁股上的踢打。可为什么这样美丽的因在你身上却产生如此丑恶的果呢？”
庞格罗斯先生如是说：
“哦，我亲爱的老实人，你一定记得黛丝吧，就是侍候我们高贵男爵夫人的那个漂亮女佣。在她怀里我尝到了天堂般的快乐，可这快乐也给了我地狱一般的折磨，你也看到了，它吞食了我。她染上了一种疾病，也许已经死在这病上了。这礼物她是从业务博学的圣芳济会修道士那儿得来的。那圣芳济会修道士费尽心思找出了根源。原来他得谢谢一位老伯爵夫人。老伯爵夫人是从一位骑兵上尉那染上的，骑兵上尉是从一位侯爵夫人那里得的，侯爵夫人是从她的侍从那里得的，那侍从是从一位耶稣会士那儿得的，耶稣会士是从冒险家哥伦布的伙伴那儿得的。至于我，我不会传给任何人了，因为我要死了。”
“哦，贤明的庞格罗斯先生，这是多么奇异的谱系啊！魔鬼岂不是祸根？”
“根本不是，”这位伟大的人物答道。“这是不可避免的事，是这个最完美的世界上必不可少的一个要素；哥伦布在美洲的一个岛上染上这种疾病，传染了一代又一代人，还常妨碍生育，这显然与大自然的目标相违背。但是没有哥伦布，我们就不会有巧克力，也不会有胭脂红。我们还得注意，到目前为止，这种疾病跟宗教的争论一样，是我们这块大陆上所特有的。那些土耳其人、印度人、波斯人、中国人、暹罗人还有日本人，他们完全不熟悉这种疾病。但是不出几个世纪必定会有某种充分的理由让他们认识这种病的，眼下，这种疾病正在我们中间造成巨大的破坏，特别是在那些决定国家命运、纪律严明的雇佣军队中。我们可以肯定：在交战双方各是三万人的军队中，将各有大约两万人染上梅毒。”
“这确实令人震惊，”老实人说道，“不过你必须得到治疗。”
“让上帝帮助我吧！怎么可能呢？”庞格罗斯说，“我亲爱的朋友，我身无分文，我的朋友，没有钱，是不会有人来给我放血、灌肠的。”
这最后一句话在老实人身上起了作用，他立刻跑去找那好心的再洗礼派教徒雅克，跪倒在他面前，告诉雅克他朋友的凄惨景况。他说得那么感人，这位好心人毫不犹豫就同意把庞格罗斯先生带回了家，付钱为他治病。病治好了，庞格罗斯先生只失去了一只眼和一只耳朵。因为庞格罗斯先生写得一手好字，而且还算得上是懂账目的，所以雅克就让他做他的记账员。两个月后，由于生意上的事务，雅克要去一趟里斯本，他就带上这两位哲学家坐上同一艘船一同前往。旅途中，庞格罗斯先生向雅克解释为何所有的事物都被创造得再好不过了。可雅克在这一点上有他自己的不同看法：
“在某些事情上，”雅克说道，“人类一定是偏离了原始的天真无邪”，“人不是生来就是狼，但他们却像掠食的野兽一样互相撕咬。上帝并没有给人二十四磅大炮，也没有给他们刺刀，然而他们自己却造了这些东西来毁灭对方。再比如破产，定下来的法律不仅仅没收了破产者的财产，还欺骗债权人。”
“这一切都是必然的，”独眼博士回答道，“因为私人的不幸就是公众的福利，所以私人的不幸越多，公众的福利也就越多。”
就在庞格罗斯先生争论的时候，天空乌云密布，狂风从四面刮来。在看得见里斯本的地方，他们的船遭到了一场最可怕的暴风雨的袭击。
Chapter 5 A Tempest, a Shipwreck, an Earthquake, and What Else Befell Dr.Pangloss, Candide, and Jacques, the “Nabaptist”
One half of the passengers, weakened and half-dead with the inconceivable anxiety and sickness which the rolling of a vessel at sea occasions through the whole human frame, were lost to all sense of the danger that surrounded them. The others made loud outcries or betook themselves to their prayers; the sails were blown into shreds and the masts were brought by the board. The vessel was a total wreck. Everyone was busily employed, but nobody could be either heard or obeyed. The Anabaptist, being upon deck, lent a helping hand as well as the rest, when a frantic sailor knocked him down speechless; but, not withstanding, with the violence of the blow the tar himself tumbled headfirst overbroad and fell upon a piece of the broken mast, which he immediately grasped.
Honest Jacques, forgetting the injury he had so lately received from him, flew to his assistance, and, with great difficulty, hauled him in again, but, not withstanding, in the attempt, was, by a sudden jerk of the ship, thrown overbroad himself, in sight of the very fellow whom he had risked his life to save and who took not the least notice of him in the distress. Candide, who beheld all that passed and saw his benefactor one moment rising above water and the next swallowed up by the merciless waves, was preparing to jump after him, but was prevented by the philosopher Pangloss, who demonstrated to him that the roadstead of Lisbon had been made on purpose for the Anabaptist to be drowned there. While he was proving his argument a priori, the ship foundered, and the whole crew perished, except Pangloss, Candide, and the sailor who had been the means of drowning the good Anabaptist. The villain swan ashore; but Pangloss and Candide reached the land upon a plank.
As soon as they had recovered from their surprise and fatigue they walked towards Lisbon; with what little money they had left they thought to save themselves from starving after having escaped drowning.
Scarcely had they ceased to lament the loss of their benefactor and set foot in the city when they perceived that the earth trembled under their feet, and the sea, swelling and foaming in the harbor, began dashing in pieces the vessels that were riding at anchor there. Large sheets of flames and cinders covered the streets and public places; the house tottered, and were tumbled topsy-turvy even to their foundations, which were themselves destroyed, and thirty thousand inhabitants of both sexes, young and old, were buried beneath the ruins.
The sailor, whistling and swearing, “Damn it, there’s something to be got there.”
“What can be the sufficient reason of this phenomenon?” said Pangloss.
“It must be the Day of Judgment,” said Candide.
The sailor, defying death in the pursuit of plunder, rushed into the midst of the ruin, where he found some money, with which he got drunk, and after he had slept himself sober he purchased the favors of the first good-natured wench that came in his way, amidst the ruins of demolished houses and the groans of half-buried and expiring persons.
Pangloss pulled him by the sleeve. “Friend,” said he, “this is not right, you trespass against the universal reason, and have mistaken your time.”
“Death and God’s wounds!” answered the other, “I am a sailor and was born at Batavia, and have trampled four times upon the crucifix in as many voyages to Japan; you have come to the wrong person with your universal reason.”
In the meantime, Candide, who had been wounded by some pieces of stone that fell from the houses, lay stretched in the street, almost covered with rubbish.
“For God’s sake,” said he to Pangloss, “get me a little wine and oil! I am dying.”
“This concussion of the earth is no new thing,” said Pangloss, “the city of Lima in South America experienced the same last year; the same cause, the same effects; there is certainly a train of sulphur all the way underground from Lima to Lisbon.”
“Nothing is more probable,” said Candide; “but for the love of God a little oil and wine.”
“Probable!” replied the philosopher, “I maintain the thing is demonstrable.”
Candide fainted away, and Pangloss fetched him some water from a neighboring spring. The next day, in searching among the ruins, they found some food with which they repaired their exhausted strength. After this they assisted the inhabitants in relieving the distressed and wounded. Some, whom they had humanely assisted, gave them as good a dinner as could be expected under such terrible circumstances. The repast, indeed, was mournful, and the company moistened their bread with their tears; but Pangloss endeavored to comfort them under the affliction by affirming that things could not be otherwise that they were.
“All this,” he said, “is for the best end, for if there is a volcano at Lisbon it cannot be elsewhere; and it is impossible but things should be as they are, for everything is for the best.”
By the side of the tutor sat a little man dressed in black, who was one of the families of the Inquisition. This person, provoking him with great politeness, said, “Possibly, my good sir, you do not believe in original sin; for, if everything is best, there could have been no such thing as the Fall or punishment of man.”
“Your Excellency will pardon me,” answered Pangloss, still more politely; “for the Fall of man and the curse consequent thereupon necessarily entered into the system of the best of worlds.”
“That is as much as to say, sir,” rejoined the familiar, “you do not believe in free will.”
“Your Excellency will be so good as to excuse me,” said Pangloss, “free will is consistent with absolute necessity; for it was necessary we should be free, for in that the will…”
Pangloss was in the midst of his proposition, when the familiar beckoned to his attendant to help him to a glass of port wine.
第五章 庞格罗斯博士、老实人、再浸礼教徒雅克遭遇暴风雨、海难、地震等灾难
船在海上颠簸摇摆着，这给一半旅客造成难以想象的焦躁不安，不少人感到恶心呕吐，乘客们身体极其虚弱，都已经意识不到他们周围的危险。其他人或者大声嚎叫，或者向上帝祷告。船帆很快碎了，桅杆也断了，整艘船完全变成了残骸。每一个人都在忙着，但谁也听不见谁，谁也指挥不了谁。再浸礼教徒雅克也和其他人一样希望着能帮忙做点事，结果却被一个发狂的水手打倒在地，说不出话来。由于用力过猛，水手这一拳把自己也甩出了船外，落在了一根折断了的桅杆上，但他迅速抓住了它。
好心的雅克，忘记这个人刚才对他的伤害，跑过去帮忙，费了很大劲把他拉上来，不料船突然一个颠簸，把他抛出船外。他曾冒着生命危险去营救的那个家伙竟然看着他在水中挣扎而无动于衷。老实人看到这一切，他的恩人一会儿浮出水面，一会儿又被无情的波浪吞没，他准备跳下去救雅克，却被哲学家庞格罗斯拖住了，他向老实人证明里斯本的港外停锚地正是特地为再浸礼教徒在这里被淹没而准备的。正当庞格罗斯先生向老实人证明自己的先验论点时，船沉没了。除了庞格罗斯先生、老实人、还有那个见死不救的水手外，整船人都淹没在海里了。这个流氓游到了岸上。庞格罗斯先生和老实人靠一块厚厚的大木板漂到了陆地上。
从惊恐和疲惫中回过神来后，他们就向里斯本出发了。口袋里钱已不多，他们想着，既然没有被淹死，应该不会被饿死吧。
他们还在为失去恩人难过，可一踏上里斯本的土地，就发现大地在他们脚下震动。海在港口翻滚，巨浪把抛锚在那儿的船舶击得粉碎。街道和公共场所尽是火焰和灰烬。房屋倒塌，甚至连地基也被颠倒过来，有三万的男女老少全都被埋在废墟之中。
水手吹着口哨，连咒带骂地叫道：“他妈的，一定能在这儿捞点儿什么东西。”
“这个现象的充分理由是什么呢？”庞格罗斯问道。
“这一定是世界末日！”老实人回答道。
水手想捞点什么东西，于是不顾赦免危险冲进废墟。在那儿他找到了些钱，用着钱买酒他喝得烂醉如泥。酒后醒来，他又在倒塌的废墟中和半死不活的呻吟声中向碰到的第一个好脾气的妓女买欢。
庞格罗斯拉着他的袖子说：“朋友，这是不对的。你违背了理性。现在不是时候。”
“见上帝去吧！”水手说道，“我是个水手，生在巴达维亚，在去日本的四次航行中，每一次我都踩了十字架。我的理性找错对象了！”
老实人被房子上落下来的石块击伤，躺在街上，几乎埋在瓦砾中。
“看在上帝的份儿上！”他对庞格罗斯说，“给我一点酒和油，我快死了。”
“大地的震动不是什么新鲜事，”庞格罗斯先生说，“南美洲的利马市去年也有过一次同样的经历同样的因，同样的果。从利马到里斯本的地底下一定有一大股硫磺流。”
“没有什么比这更有可能了。”老实人说，“但看在上帝的份儿上，给我一点酒和油！”
“可以！”这位哲学家回答，“我坚持认为这是可以证明的。”
老实人昏迷了过去，庞格罗斯从附近的井里取来了一些水。第二天，他们从废墟里找了一些食物，以补充他们已经耗尽的体力。之后，他们就帮助当地居民，安慰那些悲伤和受伤的人们。晚上，得到他们友好帮助的人们还请他们吃了一顿在当时那种可怕情况下所能张罗到的最好的晚餐。就餐时气氛是悲痛的，眼泪浸湿了他们的面包。庞格罗斯努力安慰他们度过目前所受的折磨，坚信凡事都是为了最完美而存在着。
“所有这一切都是为了其最完美的目的而存在的。因为，
“No,” replied Pangloss, “her body was ripped open by the Bulgarian soldiers, after they had raped her as many times as a girl could survive; they knocked out the brains of the Baron, her father, for attempting to defend her; My Lady, her mother, was cut in pieces; my poor pupil was served just in the same manner as his sister; and as for the castle, they have not left one stone upon another; they have destroyed all the ducks, and sheep, the barns, and the trees; but we have had our satisfaction, for the Abares have done the very same thing in a neighboring barony, which belonged to a Bulgarian lord.”
At hearing this, Candide fainted away a second time, but, not withstanding, having come to himself again, he said all that it became him to say; he inquired into the cause and effect, as well as into the sufficient reason that he had reduced Pangloss to so miserable a condition.
“Alas,” replied the tutor, “it was love; love, the comfort of the human species; the love, the preserver of the universe; the soul of all sensible beings; love! Tender love!”
“Alas,” cried Candide, “I have had some knowledge of love myself, this sovereign of hearts, this soul of souls. It never caused any more effect on me than one kiss and twenty kicks on the backside. How could this beautiful causes produce in you so hideous an effect?”
Pangloss made answer in these terms:
“O my dear Candide, you must remember Daisy, that pretty wench, who waited on our noble Baroness; in her arms I tasted the pleasures of Paradise, which produced these hellish torments with which you see me devoured. She was infected with an ailment, and perhaps has since died of it; she received this present of a learned Franciscan, who troubled to derive its source and learned that he was indebted for it to an old countess, who had it of a captain of horse, who had it of a marquise, who had it of a page, the page had it of a Jesuit, who, during his novitiate, had it in a direct line from one of the fellow adventures of Christopher Columbus; for my part I shall give it to nobody, I am a dying man.”
“O sage Pangloss,” cried Candide, “what a strange genealogy is this! Is not it the devil the root of it?”
“Not at all,” replied the great man, “it was a thing unavoidable, a necessary ingredient in the best of worlds; for if Columbus, on an island in America, had not caught this disease, which contaminates the source of generation, frequently impedes propagation itself, and is evidently opposed to the great end of nature, we should have had neither chocolate nor cochineal dyes. We may observe that even to the present time, in this continent of ours, this malady, like our religious controversies, is peculiar to ourselves, and that the Turks, the Indians, the Persians, the Chinese, the Siamese, and the Japanese are entirely unacquainted with it; but there is a sufficient reason for them to know it in a few centuries. In the meantime, it is making prodigious havoc among us, especially in those armies composed of well disciplined hirelings who determine the fate of nations; for we may safely affirm, that, when an army of thirty thousand men engages another equal in size, there are about twenty thousand infected with syphilis on each side.”
“Very surprising, indeed,” said Candide, “but you must get cured.”
“Lord help me, how can I?” said pangloss. “My dear friend, I have not a penny in the world; and you cannot be bled or get an enema without money.”
This last speech had its effect on Candide; he flung himself at his feet, and gave him so striking a picture of his friend that the good man without any further hesitation agreed to take Dr.Pangloss into his house, and to pay for his cure. The cure was effected with only the loss of one eye and one ear, As Pangloss wrote a good hand and understand accounts tolerably well, the Anabaptist made him his bookkeeper. The expiration of two months, being obliged by some mercantile affairs to go to Lisbon he took the two philosophers with him in the same ship; Pangloss, during the course of the voyage, explained to him how everything was so constituted that it could be better. Jacques did not quite agree with him on this point.
“In some things,” he said, “men must have deviated from their original innocence; for they were not born wolves and yet they worry one another like beasts of prey. God never gave them twenty-four pounders nor bayonets and yet they have made both to destroy one another. To this account I might add not only bankrupts but also the law, which seizes on the effects of bankrupts to cheat the creditors.”
“All this was indispensably necessary,” replied the one-eye doctor, “for private misfortunes make for public benefits; so that the more private misfortunes there are, the greater is the general good.”
While he was arguing in this manner, the sky was overcast, the winds blew from the four quarters of the compass, and the ship was assailed by a most terrible tempest, within sight of the port of Lisbon.
第四章 老实人再次遇到庞格罗斯先生及其遭遇
第二天，当他外出散步时， 老实人遇上一个乞丐。那乞丐浑身长满疮疤，两眼深陷，鼻子烂了一截，嘴巴歪到一边，牙齿黑得像黑斗篷。他剧烈地咳嗽着，每一阵抽搐，都似乎要把牙齿咳出来。
老实人对他既同情又恐惧，但还是同情占了上风，于是就把那个诚实的再洗礼派教徒给他的两个金币赠给这个颤抖的人。这个幽灵般的乞丐热切地看着他，流着眼泪，伸出双臂抱住了老实人的脖子，吓得老实人倒退了好几步。
“天啊！”这个可怜人对着另一个可怜人说道，“难道那不记得你亲爱的庞格罗斯先生？”
“什么，亲爱的老师，是你吗？您怎么会落到如可怜的境地？在你身上发生了什么可怕的不幸？您为什么要离开那最美丽而舒适的城堡？古内宫小姐怎么样了？她是年轻小姐们的明镜，大自然的杰作。”
“我快死了，”庞格罗斯说道。听到这儿，老实人立即带庞格罗斯先生到再洗礼派教徒雅克家的马棚，设法给他找些吃的。庞格罗斯先生刚吃几口，老实人就接着打听古内宫小姐的情况。
“死了。”庞格罗斯先生回答道。
“死了！”老实人大叫一声，立刻昏死过去。庞格罗斯先生用他碰巧在马棚发现的一小瓶已经坏掉的醋把老实人救醒。
老实人睁开双眼又重复着说：“死了！古内宫小姐死了？啊！最完美的世界如今在哪儿呢？她生了什么病？是因为看到他父亲把我踢出城堡而悲伤地死去的吗？”
“不是，”庞格罗斯先生说，“她被保加利亚士兵多次蹂躏，被折磨得不成人样，还被剖开肚皮。她父亲男爵大人想保护她，脑袋被敲开了花。她母亲男爵夫人也被剁成了碎块，没有两块石头是摞在一起的了。所有的鸭、羊、谷仓和树全被毁了。但我们总算报了仇，因为阿巴利亚士兵在邻近属于保加利亚的一所男爵城堡里也干了同样的事。”
听到这里，老实人又昏倒了，但当他再次恢复知觉后，他就追问是什么样充分的因与果让庞格罗斯先生落到如此悲惨的境况。
“唉！”庞格罗斯先生说，“是爱情；爱情，慰藉人类的爱情！爱情，宇宙的保护者；所有理性之物的灵魂；爱情！温柔的爱情！”
“唉！”老实人道，“对爱情我略之一二，爱情是心灵的主宰，灵魂中的灵魂。它带给我的只是一次亲吻，和一阵落在我屁股上的踢打。可为什么这样美丽的因在你身上却产生如此丑恶的果呢？”
庞格罗斯先生如是说：
“哦，我亲爱的老实人，你一定记得黛丝吧，就是侍候我们高贵男爵夫人的那个漂亮女佣。在她怀里我尝到了天堂般的快乐，可这快乐也给了我地狱一般的折磨，你也看到了，它吞食了我。她染上了一种疾病，也许已经死在这病上了。这礼物她是从业务博学的圣芳济会修道士那儿得来的。那圣芳济会修道士费尽心思找出了根源。原来他得谢谢一位老伯爵夫人。老伯爵夫人是从一位骑兵上尉那染上的，骑兵上尉是从一位侯爵夫人那里得的，侯爵夫人是从她的侍从那里得的，那侍从是从一位耶稣会士那儿得的，耶稣会士是从冒险家哥伦布的伙伴那儿得的。至于我，我不会传给任何人了，因为我要死了。”
“哦，贤明的庞格罗斯先生，这是多么奇异的谱系啊！魔鬼岂不是祸根？”
“根本不是，”这位伟大的人物答道。“这是不可避免的事，是这个最完美的世界上必不可少的一个要素；哥伦布在美洲的一个岛上染上这种疾病，传染了一代又一代人，还常妨碍生育，这显然与大自然的目标相违背。但是没有哥伦布，我们就不会有巧克力，也不会有胭脂红。我们还得注意，到目前为止，这种疾病跟宗教的争论一样，是我们这块大陆上所特有的。那些土耳其人、印度人、波斯人、中国人、暹罗人还有日本人，他们完全不熟悉这种疾病。但是不出几个世纪必定会有某种充分的理由让他们认识这种病的，眼下，这种疾病正在我们中间造成巨大的破坏，特别是在那些决定国家命运、纪律严明的雇佣军队中。我们可以肯定：在交战双方各是三万人的军队中，将各有大约两万人染上梅毒。”
“这确实令人震惊，”老实人说道，“不过你必须得到治疗。”
“让上帝帮助我吧！怎么可能呢？”庞格罗斯说，“我亲爱的朋友，我身无分文，我的朋友，没有钱，是不会有人来给我放血、灌肠的。”
这最后一句话在老实人身上起了作用，他立刻跑去找那好心的再洗礼派教徒雅克，跪倒在他面前，告诉雅克他朋友的凄惨景况。他说得那么感人，这位好心人毫不犹豫就同意把庞格罗斯先生带回了家，付钱为他治病。病治好了，庞格罗斯先生只失去了一只眼和一只耳朵。因为庞格罗斯先生写得一手好字，而且还算得上是懂账目的，所以雅克就让他做他的记账员。两个月后，由于生意上的事务，雅克要去一趟里斯本，他就带上这两位哲学家坐上同一艘船一同前往。旅途中，庞格罗斯先生向雅克解释为何所有的事物都被创造得再好不过了。可雅克在这一点上有他自己的不同看法：
“在某些事情上，”雅克说道，“人类一定是偏离了原始的天真无邪”，“人不是生来就是狼，但他们却像掠食的野兽一样互相撕咬。上帝并没有给人二十四磅大炮，也没有给他们刺刀，然而他们自己却造了这些东西来毁灭对方。再比如破产，定下来的法律不仅仅没收了破产者的财产，还欺骗债权人。”
“这一切都是必然的，”独眼博士回答道，“因为私人的不幸就是公众的福利，所以私人的不幸越多，公众的福利也就越多。”
就在庞格罗斯先生争论的时候，天空乌云密布，狂风从四面刮来。在看得见里斯本的地方，他们的船遭到了一场最可怕的暴风雨的袭击。
Chapter 5 A Tempest, a Shipwreck, an Earthquake, and What Else Befell Dr.Pangloss, Candide, and Jacques, the “Nabaptist”
One half of the passengers, weakened and half-dead with the inconceivable anxiety and sickness which the rolling of a vessel at sea occasions through the whole human frame, were lost to all sense of the danger that surrounded them. The others made loud outcries or betook themselves to their prayers; the sails were blown into shreds and the masts were brought by the board. The vessel was a total wreck. Everyone was busily employed, but nobody could be either heard or obeyed. The Anabaptist, being upon deck, lent a helping hand as well as the rest, when a frantic sailor knocked him down speechless; but, not withstanding, with the violence of the blow the tar himself tumbled headfirst overbroad and fell upon a piece of the broken mast, which he immediately grasped.
Honest Jacques, forgetting the injury he had so lately received from him, flew to his assistance, and, with great difficulty, hauled him in again, but, not withstanding, in the attempt, was, by a sudden jerk of the ship, thrown overbroad himself, in sight of the very fellow whom he had risked his life to save and who took not the least notice of him in the distress. Candide, who beheld all that passed and saw his benefactor one moment rising above water and the next swallowed up by the merciless waves, was preparing to jump after him, but was prevented by the philosopher Pangloss, who demonstrated to him that the roadstead of Lisbon had been made on purpose for the Anabaptist to be drowned there. While he was proving his argument a priori, the ship foundered, and the whole crew perished, except Pangloss, Candide, and the sailor who had been the means of drowning the good Anabaptist. The villain swan ashore; but Pangloss and Candide reached the land upon a plank.
As soon as they had recovered from their surprise and fatigue they walked towards Lisbon; with what little money they had left they thought to save themselves from starving after having escaped drowning.
Scarcely had they ceased to lament the loss of their benefactor and set foot in the city when they perceived that the earth trembled under their feet, and the sea, swelling and foaming in the harbor, began dashing in pieces the vessels that were riding at anchor there. Large sheets of flames and cinders covered the streets and public places; the house tottered, and were tumbled topsy-turvy even to their foundations, which were themselves destroyed, and thirty thousand inhabitants of both sexes, young and old, were buried beneath the ruins.
The sailor, whistling and swearing, “Damn it, there’s something to be got there.”
“What can be the sufficient reason of this phenomenon?” said Pangloss.
“It must be the Day of Judgment,” said Candide.
The sailor, defying death in the pursuit of plunder, rushed into the midst of the ruin, where he found some money, with which he got drunk, and after he had slept himself sober he purchased the favors of the first good-natured wench that came in his way, amidst the ruins of demolished houses and the groans of half-buried and expiring persons.
Pangloss pulled him by the sleeve. “Friend,” said he, “this is not right, you trespass against the universal reason, and have mistaken your time.”
“Death and God’s wounds!” answered the other, “I am a sailor and was born at Batavia, and have trampled four times upon the crucifix in as many voyages to Japan; you have come to the wrong person with your universal reason.”
In the meantime, Candide, who had been wounded by some pieces of stone that fell from the houses, lay stretched in the street, almost covered with rubbish.
“For God’s sake,” said he to Pangloss, “get me a little wine and oil! I am dying.”
“This concussion of the earth is no new thing,” said Pangloss, “the city of Lima in South America experienced the same last year; the same cause, the same effects; there is certainly a train of sulphur all the way underground from Lima to Lisbon.”
“Nothing is more probable,” said Candide; “but for the love of God a little oil and wine.”
“Probable!” replied the philosopher, “I maintain the thing is demonstrable.”
Candide fainted away, and Pangloss fetched him some water from a neighboring spring. The next day, in searching among the ruins, they found some food with which they repaired their exhausted strength. After this they assisted the inhabitants in relieving the distressed and wounded. Some, whom they had humanely assisted, gave them as good a dinner as could be expected under such terrible circumstances. The repast, indeed, was mournful, and the company moistened their bread with their tears; but Pangloss endeavored to comfort them under the affliction by affirming that things could not be otherwise that they were.
“All this,” he said, “is for the best end, for if there is a volcano at Lisbon it cannot be elsewhere; and it is impossible but things should be as they are, for everything is for the best.”
By the side of the tutor sat a little man dressed in black, who was one of the families of the Inquisition. This person, provoking him with great politeness, said, “Possibly, my good sir, you do not believe in original sin; for, if everything is best, there could have been no such thing as the Fall or punishment of man.”
“Your Excellency will pardon me,” answered Pangloss, still more politely; “for the Fall of man and the curse consequent thereupon necessarily entered into the system of the best of worlds.”
“That is as much as to say, sir,” rejoined the familiar, “you do not believe in free will.”
“Your Excellency will be so good as to excuse me,” said Pangloss, “free will is consistent with absolute necessity; for it was necessary we should be free, for in that the will…”
Pangloss was in the midst of his proposition, when the familiar beckoned to his attendant to help him to a glass of port wine.
第五章 庞格罗斯博士、老实人、再浸礼教徒雅克遭遇暴风雨、海难、地震等灾难
船在海上颠簸摇摆着，这给一半旅客造成难以想象的焦躁不安，不少人感到恶心呕吐，乘客们身体极其虚弱，都已经意识不到他们周围的危险。其他人或者大声嚎叫，或者向上帝祷告。船帆很快碎了，桅杆也断了，整艘船完全变成了残骸。每一个人都在忙着，但谁也听不见谁，谁也指挥不了谁。再浸礼教徒雅克也和其他人一样希望着能帮忙做点事，结果却被一个发狂的水手打倒在地，说不出话来。由于用力过猛，水手这一拳把自己也甩出了船外，落在了一根折断了的桅杆上，但他迅速抓住了它。
好心的雅克，忘记这个人刚才对他的伤害，跑过去帮忙，费了很大劲把他拉上来，不料船突然一个颠簸，把他抛出船外。他曾冒着生命危险去营救的那个家伙竟然看着他在水中挣扎而无动于衷。老实人看到这一切，他的恩人一会儿浮出水面，一会儿又被无情的波浪吞没，他准备跳下去救雅克，却被哲学家庞格罗斯拖住了，他向老实人证明里斯本的港外停锚地正是特地为再浸礼教徒在这里被淹没而准备的。正当庞格罗斯先生向老实人证明自己的先验论点时，船沉没了。除了庞格罗斯先生、老实人、还有那个见死不救的水手外，整船人都淹没在海里了。这个流氓游到了岸上。庞格罗斯先生和老实人靠一块厚厚的大木板漂到了陆地上。
从惊恐和疲惫中回过神来后，他们就向里斯本出发了。口袋里钱已不多，他们想着，既然没有被淹死，应该不会被饿死吧。
他们还在为失去恩人难过，可一踏上里斯本的土地，就发现大地在他们脚下震动。海在港口翻滚，巨浪把抛锚在那儿的船舶击得粉碎。街道和公共场所尽是火焰和灰烬。房屋倒塌，甚至连地基也被颠倒过来，有三万的男女老少全都被埋在废墟之中。
水手吹着口哨，连咒带骂地叫道：“他妈的，一定能在这儿捞点儿什么东西。”
“这个现象的充分理由是什么呢？”庞格罗斯问道。
“这一定是世界末日！”老实人回答道。
水手想捞点什么东西，于是不顾赦免危险冲进废墟。在那儿他找到了些钱，用着钱买酒他喝得烂醉如泥。酒后醒来，他又在倒塌的废墟中和半死不活的呻吟声中向碰到的第一个好脾气的妓女买欢。
庞格罗斯拉着他的袖子说：“朋友，这是不对的。你违背了理性。现在不是时候。”
“见上帝去吧！”水手说道，“我是个水手，生在巴达维亚，在去日本的四次航行中，每一次我都踩了十字架。我的理性找错对象了！”
老实人被房子上落下来的石块击伤，躺在街上，几乎埋在瓦砾中。
“看在上帝的份儿上！”他对庞格罗斯说，“给我一点酒和油，我快死了。”
“大地的震动不是什么新鲜事，”庞格罗斯先生说，“南美洲的利马市去年也有过一次同样的经历同样的因，同样的果。从利马到里斯本的地底下一定有一大股硫磺流。”
“没有什么比这更有可能了。”老实人说，“但看在上帝的份儿上，给我一点酒和油！”
“可以！”这位哲学家回答，“我坚持认为这是可以证明的。”
老实人昏迷了过去，庞格罗斯从附近的井里取来了一些水。第二天，他们从废墟里找了一些食物，以补充他们已经耗尽的体力。之后，他们就帮助当地居民，安慰那些悲伤和受伤的人们。晚上，得到他们友好帮助的人们还请他们吃了一顿在当时那种可怕情况下所能张罗到的最好的晚餐。就餐时气氛是悲痛的，眼泪浸湿了他们的面包。庞格罗斯努力安慰他们度过目前所受的折磨，坚信凡事都是为了最完美而存在着。
“所有这一切都是为了其最完美的目的而存在的。因为，